Hi. i have a new 8 week old collie pup who i adore, ive always wanted a collie.

Since she is mine i want to really really bond with her, to the extent of her seeing me as a Mum like figure (like what i see some people have with there dogs) how is this created, how much time should i spend with her, how much time should she have with other people/dogs in the house to play? should i let her sleep in my bed with me etc?

Please give any advice you can, i know it might sound mad but i really do want to bond with her and be a mum like figure to her. Would love that!

> i know it might sound mad but i really do want to bond with her and be a mum like figure to her.

OK, you'll never be mum - you're a human!!

You've mentioned other dogs before, do these belong to other family members?  Are you living at home with parents and family dogs?

It's likely she'll take some lead from the other dogs but there is no reason why she shouldn't bond with you.  Dogs tend to attach to those people that do the most work with them.  If you are the one to feed her, train her and walk her you'll soon bond.  In my experience dogs are less bothered by affection - my children are the ones to sit with, stroke, kiss and cuddle the dogs but one word from me and both of my dogs will be by my side in a flash.

Additionally I'm at home full time with the dogs so generally speaking all of their needs are met by me, although my husband does great walks.  If he looks like he might be going out there is no amount of enticement by me that will persuade them they aren't better off going out with him!!  However when their internal 'dinner bell' goes off there is nowhere they wouldn't come to find me...

Whether you ultimately allow her in your bed is up to you but I'd hesitate to elevate one dog above another and I wouldn't have such a young pup in a human bed.  It's too hot, too easy to squash her and I doubt that she'll be toilet trained immediately!  You also need to be very careful about allowing her to go up stairs and jump on and off furniture whilst she is growing.  You sound very excited - I hope she's everything you want her to be xxx

bonding with a puppy isn't about constantly giving it love and attention,your puppy will of course want lots of love but i think when you first have the pup at home it's just as important to give it space to explore and feel settled. in fact ignoring the pup a certain amount of time is good to as need to feel secure and if you keep fussing all the time then this can stress it more.
pups also need their own space ie a bed they can go and feel safe and be quiet on their own. i wouldn't allow the pup in your bed, as already said it want be toilet trained and the pup is more likely to think your in charge if you don't allow it on certain things like the bed or sofa.   When i say in charge i mean the pup is more likely to look to you for guidance ie what it can and can't do in the house.
As soon as the pups old enough get enrolled in a good training class and this will help you bond well and also stimulate the pups mind, which you will need with a collie. A lot further down the line you can do agility and we all know this breed loves that.
This pup will need lots of stimulation as it gets older as collies are very clever and just long walks is not enough but all the extra things you do together will make your relationship with the pup stronger.
i don't allow any of my dogs up stairs unless i'm up there and i don't fuss over them all the time, of course they get attention when i have time but love the attention from training and walks just as much if not more.
i can't go anywhere with out a dog following me, either sat outside the toilet or right behind me while i'm trying to cook or clean, they just love being with the person they respect and look up to. they know i feed them, i walk them and i play/train them and this makes a good relationship as they know i'm in charge but not in a bad way as they are relaxed because they look to me for making decisions for them and don't have to stress about things because if i'm relaxed there's nothing to worry about.
Have a great time with your new pup and don't expect too much to soon, bonding takes time and will happy slowly as you spend time together  and start training. your pup will never see you as it's mum but will love you as a leader and thats what makes them want to spend time with you.
hope fully some one with collies will be able to advice you of the best training methods for this breed so you can get the best out of your new pup.     
 

> i know it might sound mad but i really do want to bond with her and be a mum like figure to her.

If by 'mum like figure' you mean somebody your dog can trust, feel safe with and look to for direction there is nothing wrong with using the term 'mum', as long as you remeber you are 'mum' to a dog and not a human

Bonding can be achieved with reward based training along with respecting the dogs needs and the basics to how the dog thinks ie. they only understand the words you teach them, they aren't 'naughty' to get back at you, they don't 'know' that pooping on your very expensive rug is wrong, the expensive wooden furntiure is just as much fun to chew as a dog toy so they know no difference - it's up to you to teach what is allowed etc....

A good training class should help with training and through training - bonding. I've found I have the best bond, out of my family, with my dog, as I have done all the training, grooming, feeding etc. he trusts me above anybody else and will look to me for direction.

I personally do not allow my dog on my bed for several reasons  - #1 upstairs is a 'dog free' zone so the cat always has an escape if she feels she needs it, #2 due to his breed, stairs were a no-no as a puppy so he has learnt not to go up them. #3  he will not fit in my bed with me & OH in it!!

I've found grooming to be a great bonding time. It's a very good idea to get pup used to being groomed & having her feet/ears/mouth inspected from an early age. This is something you can start straight away, but as with  any training session keep it short, don't force pup to put up with things they don't like, take things slow, end the session on a 'high' (it's better for pup to remeber the session finishing in a happy/relaxed state of mind), reward any progress.

I can understand what you mean as I have very strong bonds with two of my girls, but I advise caution in trying to become the centre of this puppys world exclusively. Making any puppy too dependant on any one person could become debilitating for the  puppy if you have to be away from it for any length of time. Seperation anxiety can be a very big problem. JMHO

Very good advice Gill

I agree with Gill, of course you want to bond with your dog, that is completely natural, but creating a human like relationship with your dog is likely to cause separation anxieties when you cannot be with your dog for periods, which can be very hard to break again, my dad has created this kind of situation with his dog, especially after me and my sister left home, and at 11 years old the dog cannot bear to be away from my dad, which can be very emotionally tiring, especially for my mum who is home with him all day when dad is at work three days a week!

Hope this helps

Nicki xx

I agree with everyone else.  To be honest you don't even need to try. It will happen!  If you care for him, feed him and train him, he is yours, don't be too soft with him or he will wrap you around his little paw, give him rules and teach him commands, he will love you regardless, a mutual respect will naturally come about, dogs love to please.

Give him a big cuddle from me, he is no doubt absolutely gorgeous.

We have two dogs a collie and spaniel and the collie is OH's dog and that was that.I spent all my time with the spaniel for the first 4 weeks, toilet training, feeding ect. When Jake arrived (4 weeks after Whistler)  OH did all the walking, feeding, cleaning up wee/pooh, his dog! Jake also walks with Oh and I do my spaniel naturally the dogs have always known who was master. Jake adores OH and when he goes away on business he sulks!! I think if you are responsible for feeding, walking ect. But remember if the dog makes you his world you have a great responsibility as an owner to ensure consistant patience and love and you dont get to take days off! Holidays can mean a very unhappy dog as well, as they do not always take to kennel's luckily enough where Jake goes is a little girl that loves him to bit and he sleeps on her bed!! but i think if she was not there he would pine.
Oh and at home they sleep in crates not on beds, but when he goes off on holiday (K age 6) takes him to bed!

Gill is right, any dog will bond with their owner if looked after properly, but you also need to remember she is a dog. You can not be with her all the time and she needs to be able to cope with that. She also needs to know that you are in charge, collies are very good at taking the initiative and if she is allowed to get away with things just because you want her to love you, she may decide that she can do what she likes. Dogs are just like human children, they need boundaries and they need their own bed, but they won't love you any less.

Hi DasheyDough

Just in case you want some advice from another first owner of a new puppy (he's nearly 6 months)!

I've found that the more time i've spent with him, the more we've bonded.  I've taken him everywhere with me and whenever possible; on the tube, train, buses, in the car, to pub gardens, friend's houses, up to the School.  I've also left him with my sister and a friend for a day once in a while, to get him used to trusting other humans.  We go to the park with the children, and for Country walks.  Have also taken him round London, and down to my Mum & Dad's house on the Coast.  I've found that making an effort to take him with us has made us really close; it's easy sometimes to leave him at home but i'm always looking for ways to get him involved as that's why i wanted a dog.  Also i don't have a partner so i can't rely on anyone else to walk him or come home to him.  Hence any days out have to involve him.

I've found that he follows me round the place like a shadow, but when i'm not around he is really happy (ie at my sister's place).  He seems to be fine with others, just not great being left for long periods (though he can do a couple of hours no probs).

I do let him sleep on the bed once in a while - we both enjoy it - but usually he is in his crate in the kitchen which i've made very snug for him.  Incidentally he's never weed on the bed!

Hope this helps.  It's been great having a little character around who is always happy to see you, doesn't care what you look like and is an enthusiastic companion.  I suppose my experience of having a dog so far has been brilliant.  I feel that we have really bonded.  Like most things in life (i'm including kids, works, everything!) the more work you put in, the more rewards you get back.

To add to the other ideas, I'd say build up trust which you can do by playing (which builds a good bond)  and by also being very fair and never unpredictable as regards your handling and treatment, ie be kind, consistent, etc

Teach to enjoy vets etc so take early for socialisation to vets.

Use reward based training methods too, rather than harsher ones.

Yes our breeder told Oh to growl at Jake to tell him off. On the very rare occassion OH does growl Jake's on the floor belly up instantly, he knows he has upset his master.
He is not so obediant with me I can pull off ticks and burrs now before he would give me the look and head for the door. I only get a cuddle or a look in when OH is out!! Even though I do the 11;45 pee break walk.
We are 24/7 with ours as they are here in the office but they know to sit down and go to sleep until I get my shoes on or OH closes down his computer or clicks his brief case then Jake is up like a shot, whilst Whistler does not blink!

Dogs are pack animals and need leadership.

Spoil your dogs by training him/her

There is love and respect.  I feel you need the respect first and the love will come.  lots of dogs love their owners but do not respect them.

Then you can spoil them all you want, like my girls.  then they will do anything for you.

I agree with tadog on this one all the way, I have trained all three of mine and though I love my dogs to bits and would do anything for them Respect etc comes first!! They no what " no " means they have all the attention in the world but they are dogs not humans!

They no I am the ' leader ' and to be honest ( they follow me like the pide piper)

Any way good luck  with it all

I find that the more I do with my Collies, the more we bond.  Exercise, on lead or free running is not enough for this intelligent breed.  Mine are never happier than when I am making them think.  They really do need mental stimulation.  My youngest boy just loves me hiding things for him.  His excitement as he brings it to me is great.  He is so proud when he hands it over.  Do remember though, she is only a baby, and training sessions need to be short and fun.  A decent class is your best way forward in my opinion.