I was birthday shopping the other day so took the opportunity to quiz a few shop workers on what they thought was going to be this years must have pressies ( i know - i need to get a life ! )
So i was told Nintendo DSi , a new Wii Fit board that is coming out and a Wii  Rock Band type  guitar that is a dance music mixer .
We had trouble getting hold of a 16gb iTouch for a birthday pressie. There were loads of 8 and 32 gb but not 16gb .

So what are your families must haves ? Or yours ?

> So what are your families must haves

My youngest (age 5) asked yesterday for any lego which the elves could afford to make! My older son (nearly 10) would like the Nintendo DSi but will be saving up for it himself as we never spend that much. At least he really appreciates something when it has taken ages to save up enough money.
Daughter (7) wants anything Hello Kitty! All the girls her age seem mad about it. But anything will do, she is happy with little cuddly toys and hair accessories. They all understand that Santa has lots of other boys and girls to make presents for so are not very fussy!

I would like Sean Bean in my Stocking(s) pls!!

>I would like Sean Bean in my Stocking(s) pls!!

He'd look silly in your stockings. I'd like him in his Sharpe uniform.

Owwww! *stamps foot* you always get to him in his finest first....

Practice using your elbows at the Harrod's sale ...

He'd look silly in your stockings. I'd like him in his Sharpe uniform

LOL So would I, I nearly met him once at a country show with a Sharp appreciation society stand. He had just left Boo Hoo Met some of the choosen few though...and got some great T shirts with "Sharp Appreciation Society" on them and a great picture of  him, now he is emblazened on my front whenever I wear it.

Luckily I no longer have children to worry about with stockings, grandchildren are easier to sort out.
Aileen

gladI dont have any children....theyd be awfully disapointed if they had the nerve to ask me for a "must have xmas present"   No wonder the countrys going down the pan

I've always been lucky with mine, they dont beg for anything but they do already have most of the latest gadgets, my son has wrote his list and there was nothing expensive on there...just a few board games, some books and some wii games. My daughter has asked for some Hannah Montana stuff and also to go to Disney Princess on ice which is just before xmas, last year she got High School Musical on ice, she always asks for tickets of some sort for a present and I dont mind that, I think things like that have more memories than recieving some doll.

> gladI dont have any children....theyd be awfully disapointed if they had the nerve to ask me for a "must have xmas present"  

LOL, Sam - I can guarantee that my children never, ever had a 'must have' present Generally they are far too expensive and usually not the sort of thing that I would give my children We always set a limit on how much we would spend - not very much, but they were used to that so didn't complain Grandparents were encouraged to give them money which went into their savings account

It horrifies me how much some parents spend on children. How do children learn that they can't have everything ?? What has happened to the word 'No' ?? It's no wonder that some young people are in so much debt

Daisy

When i was growing up my 'main' christmas prezzies were things like a bike, a cd player, a tele for my room etc, and then lots of little presents - smellies, chocolate, board games etc
Nowadays kids seem to have everything so it is difficult to buy for them but i think we shouldn't forget they are still kids and enjoy playing with simple things too.  Novelty items and games always go down well.

For me at Christmas the must have is being surrounded by all those important to me and celebrating being together (and eating nice food!!) with everyone having a good time. The presents i receive are almost immaterial and i can guarantee the young ones will have more fun playing with their cousins they havent seen for ages and getting upto mischief amongst themselves while the adults are catching up (!) more so than worrying about playing their latest DS game or whatver the trend is this year. Sorry, JMO.

Some of us dont have the big families to have the get-togethers though I have two brothers who are both younger and dont have children and all my cousins are at college or moved away.....I have my dad round for dinner but the day is mainly a very quiet one with the kids playing toys and working their way through the selection boxes while i single handedly do the dinner

>So what are your families must haves ? Or yours ?

I don't really do 'things'; the only 'must have' is the latest novel in a series I've been reading for many years - and I usually get it myself to be certain of it! I'm really not bothered about anything else.

When my son was a little boy we didn't buy into all the hype either, which made for a much more relaxed time!

What I want this year I will nopt get as for the fist time ever both boys are with their partners so Colin & I are alone.

Im trying to think of what to do! Im not devestated as Ben is home Boxing Day and Sam soon after around New Year but for 24 years we have had one or both home!!

We dont have "must have's" but we do have both insisting on loads of pressies, so we get dopey things like pinnies with blow up breasts, or roulette chocolate where 1 piece has chillies in it. Now they are older thay go for quantity not quality. Sam likes clothes, Ben shoes as he is size 13!!!! then its dopey things.

I always get books and book tokens as Im a prolific reader, smellies, and as we are leaving home soon a meal or two out.

I like buying all the children things and have started now , we did buy all Colin's grand daughters gold charm bracelets so its charms all around. My great nieces have the links of london charms so again charms all around. Plus the Sainsbury's teddies!! plus a dress and we now have Rubin so we'll have a hunt around for him.

But it will not feel the same this year until Boxing Day.

You are a bunch of old miseries!
I cant wait now for grandchildren, just so I can streat them to the best I can! My youngest is 14 and all three of mine have had what is 'must have' if it was possible.
Isn't that what being a child should be about......
Now dont shoot me down, all three are responsible sensible and genuinely good people.
None are greedy spoiled or selfish, they have been brought up in a  hard working household, where we live within our means.

Karen

None are greedy spoiled or selfish, they have been brought up in a  hard working household, where we live within our means.


In that case of course they can have the 'must haves', the popular presents. As long as they have values and value the cost of such presents then there is nothing wrong with that.

Unfortuantely Christmas for many does come down to cost and I really feel for parents put under pressure when they don't have the funds, that is what brings unhappiness for parent and child a terrible situation for many to be in causing debt problems afterwards or just a sad Christmas, but it comes down to how they are raised to appreciate everything in this world and not to expect it.

My children have usually got what they wished for, but only because we can afford it, I would never get into debt, but when I think about what we used to spend at Christmas even I have learnt we are only buying one or two good presents, (but they are teenagers now) rather than sackfuls of stuff that either doesn't get played with or forgotten about a few months later. 

But more importantly what we have always done is each of us make the other a present, it can be anything a painting, a wooden carving, a poem, a drawing, something that we make ourselves to each other, we start making them weeks before, wrap it up and give them, but do you know they are the most important presents and most treasured and if we were to lose every penny we have, we would still have the best Christmas because we've made them ourselves, when Christmas is over and the toys and games are bored with, these are the things that mean the most.

My children (3 of them) each get £30 spent on them by me, their grandmother and their grandfather so a total of £90 each. (What their dad wants to spend or not I don't get involved in.) This makes it easy -they can all work out if what they want is affordable, and whether they should ask us all to buy a combined present or whether they have to think again. It's never been a problem.

My boys Christmas wishes have always come true and I have two lovely boys who value everybody and everything. This year, our youngest boy hopes for a 'We The People' BMX and I'm not yet sure about Lewis.

When I was young, Santa would bring us presents and we were always over the moon with whatever he brought us.   I can remember meeting Santa in a shop and asking him to bring me a 'Barney doggie' (Mum and I used to meet a Cocker Spaniel called Barney every morning on our way to nursery) I was heartbroken to wake up on Christmas morning and there was no 'Barney doggie' under the tree.  40 years later and I now have my 'Barney doggie', he was worth the wait - he is the best doggie in the world!

I agree Jax - I have a Barney Cocker and they are the best doggies in the world.

I also used to beg my parents / Santa for a dog, but none was forthcoming.  Literally the week when I left home to go to university, my parents went and got a dog (my replacement!).

The Xmas present thing is out of control.  We don't have children, but we give my OH's neices £30 in vouchers each year and get the distinct feeling that this is considered inadequate compared to the Ipods / flashy mobile phones they get from their aunt.

> We don't have children, but we give my OH's neices £30 in vouchers each year and get the distinct feeling that this is considered inadequate compared to the Ipods / flashy mobile phones they get from their aunt.

I think that is extremely generous of you. If you are made to feel that is inadequate they have a serious problem..............
Children are only that for a short while, all too soon they join us in the 'adult' role. I truly believe times like Christmas should feel wonderful and magical,when anything might happen.
I hate it when they have to be aware of the limitatations etc.......It isn't to do with how much is spent on them if they really are that clued up then they have already lost something special.
Karen

> I think that is extremely generous of you. If you are made to feel that is inadequate they have a serious problem..............
> Children are only that for a short while, all too soon they join us in the 'adult' role.

It's more their parents than the neices, I feel, that think we're mean.  When our younger neice was christened we got her a nice present (and we were students at the time and also had to make a 400-mile round trip to be there so it stretched us a bit financially).  When, after a few weeks it was clear no "thank you" was forthcoming, my OH asked if they had liked the present, and they couldn't even remember what we'd got her.  I really think not even thanking people for a gift is the height of rudeness - and it seems to be becoming all the more common.  Having said that, most of the people we know have perfectly-mannered kids who are a delight to be around.

Dreadful people........Children should also be taught to appreciate and not take for granted.
You are so right though, it is so much more of a rarity these days to get acknowledgement, never mind thanks.
I still love children and hate to see them feeling left out or less worthy, so roll on the grandchildren.
You sound a lot more clued up and I hope you get to enjoy children one day too.

Karen

> The Xmas present thing is out of control

It really doesn't have to be.  Last year for the first time my brothers, sister, and I agreed a limit to the spending.  We were all struggling a bit for money and also as the neices and nephews had got older it had become more diffilcult to find the right things without feeling like money was being wasted.

We only allowed £5 per adult and £8 per child.  I can honestly say it made shopping so much easier.  Some of us got creative with the homemade stuff, some went mad in the charity shops and I even found my brother an unopened unused gas wine opener thingy on Freecycle to add to his present!!  We decided the gift was all about the effort and the giving and not the value.  It was a bit of fun and seemed much more in the spirit than just spending £'s.

The only downside is that you have to start thinking about it a bit earlier - particularly if you want to make something

Last year my 12yo daughter said I don't need anything at all for Christmas but I'd like some more socks please.  Can't fault that!!

>We only allowed £5 per adult and £8 per child.  I can honestly say it made shopping so much easier.

That's an excellent idea that returns Christmas more to its roots rather than have it just as a spend-fest. Thoroughly approve! 

When I was young, Santa would bring us presents and we were always over the moon with whatever he brought us.   I can remember meeting Santa in a shop and asking him to bring me a 'Barney doggie' (Mum and I used to meet a Cocker Spaniel called Barney every morning on our way to nursery) I was heartbroken to wake up on Christmas morning and there was no 'Barney doggie' under the tree.  40 years later and I now have my 'Barney doggie', he was worth the wait - he is the best doggie in the world! 

x

I have spent hundreds over the years in face without a doubt over a thousand many Xmases depending on what I wanted to get my daughter BUT she has been brought up well, is polite, worked hard at school, understands the value of money and is quite a nice respectable and loving adult.    Not all kids that get quite a lot are ruined.  My parents gave us loads and loads also but we had the strictest parents in town.

PLZZZZ Dont remind me dat christmas is around the corner i have hated every christmas for the last 3 years and this year will be No differant to me its me who does All the cooking and washing up and its like any other sunday dinner to me but with extra people to cook for so to me xmas is nothing but hard work, i dont even get a chance to see my boy open his presants the only time i see what i bought him is when no one else can get it out of the tight wrapings the companys put on them , then i spend my day trying to sort the dinner with my son in my ear hole about putting the stickers on the pop up garage he got from santa, no one else helps him they are all to busy enjoying xmas bla bla bla , i hate it just  means double work for me,
honestly i think of xmas and i want to just cry!!

I'm with you alll the way!
You should in my opinion do all you can for children.
There is no excuse to not do the best you can, children are happy when they are equal to others and that is why as parents we have done our utmost to give them all that we can.
including general life skills,including the knowledge of how lucky they are.

Karen

> I have spent hundreds over the years in face without a doubt over a thousand many Xmases depending on what I wanted to get my daughter BUT she has been brought up well, is polite, worked hard at school, understands the value of money and is quite a nice respectable and loving adult.    Not all kids that get quite a lot are ruined.

> You should in my opinion do all you can for children

Of course, but that does not mean giving them everything that they want I gave my children the presents that they wanted IF they were suitable and not too expensive (we could have bought them anything - money was no problem). Being equal to others is not always good IMO. When my daughter was at school she wore Kickers shoes as they were in fashion and they were suitable for school. Her best friend had, not only the shoes, but ankle boots and knee high boots too - ridiculous at age 9. My daughter did NOT have the boots - total waste of money. I did not believe it was in her best interests to be equal in this instance. I had no qualms at saying NO

Daisy

>including general life skills,including the knowledge of how lucky they are.

The life skill of knowing that it's not essential to be a sheep makes for a confident, secure child (and adult).

Erm well I set myself a max spend for my neice and nephews.
It depends how 'well off' I am feeling but I try for between £20-30 for each child.
Three of them also have birthdays around Christmas too, so I do seperate pressie's for both.
Couldn't bear them having to do with 'that's for your birthday & Christmas'...it would feel so mean.
I then buy my mum, dad, OH, sister and Nan, plus a secret santa for work and for one OH's family (we all put our name in the hat and pull one out
as they are 6 kids, plus OH's plus their mum). The secret Santa's are normally £10 max spend.

My eldest nephew has requested a PS3 Game which would take me to the top of my max spend maybe just slightly over.
He's now much more grown up and accepts that his mum (on benefits) can not buy him all he desires (he has 2 brothers and a sister),
so he normally asks for a PS3 game or a voucher/money that he can put towards a game (he saved up and bought the PS3 himself).

The other 3, I normally get a mix of clothes and a toy/games etc for both their birthday and christmas.
That way it's not complete disappointment when they just unwrap clothes (which are needed but not as fun as toys/games).

The biggest headache is that I also buy for my Dad (he hates shopping and Christmas) and sometimes my Nan (in her 90's) bless also asks me to get things
for the 4 kids. These are harder as I normally have £5 limit for my Nan, and my Dad is between £5-15 depending how he feels.
So I like to know fairly early on what my Dad's max limit is so that if I spot a bargain out shopping I can get it...makes life a little easier!!

You know the worst part is having to wrap all the presents as I normally end up doing all the wrapping - I have 3 sets of wrapping for my own family (me, dad and nan)
and then end up doing all my OH's wrapping too...sigh.

Hmm for myself...well sometimes it's nice to receive something that you see as an extravagence for me a bit like the Boots Spa range the mande lune body moisteriser in a pot....
it's something that I like (think it's about £10, eek haven't bought it for so long now) but feel it's a treat and not an every day need to have...
The daft thing is when I work it out I spend more on the dogs for their day to day supplements...and don't think they are extravagent...LOL
I also say a recent DVD release or book from the author I love reading or a CD album from a band I like.
I normally don't expect to get any pressie's from my family. But I must admit I do feel disappointed by OH's family as we buy all the kids pressie's etc and they don't bother
to get the dog's anything (we don't have kids). Even just a packet of smackoes to share between them would be lovely.
So perhaps I am being a bit daft there but it would be nice - as they don't buy for the adults in the family only the one secret santa...
My sister however does try to buy my dogs something, she says they are my family and she doesn't have any kids of mine to buy for - aww sweet

I think that is extremely generous of you. If you are made to feel that is inadequate they have a serious problem

Ditto £30 for a niece or nephew is plenty.

To be honest we started off at £30 each, sometimes even more when they were little, but with 5 brothers all with over 2 children and my eldest brothers children now having children of their own it was getting ridiculous, so we all just give £15 each to all nieces and nephews now and once they have a child of their own then we only give it to their child.

We no longer buy for each other, (my brothers and I) just for our mum and grandparents and if they want something special, (mum wanted a gold watch one year) we'll often all club together to buy an expensive present.

When it comes to PS3, Xbox and Wii games (disgusting prices the whole lot of them) my boys don't bang on about needing all the current games, they call their cousins before Xmas and figure out who is getting what games and they all swap and borrow each others as we see each other very often. They figured that one out for themselves and have probably saved us all hundereds of pounds in swapping with each other.

> The life skill of knowing that it's not essential to be a sheep makes for a confident, secure child (and adult)

LOL, JG

Daisy

> The life skill of knowing that it's not essential to be a sheep makes for a confident, secure child (and adult).

I dont think any of my three are sheep, or could ever be thought as of that.
They all have the knowledge that I/we do all we can for them.
That maybe getting the very must have item, not to say say it would be bought in in all shades though, and always with the proviso 'if we can afford it.

I would still prefer that I do all possible materially as spirtually to better the life of my children, rather than spend money on trying to upgrade my house or car. That is the way it is, the 'must have' things that have been splurged on here have probably been technological, lapotops, mobiles etcetera, I believe in this day and age they are also fairly important for them to 'get on' in life.
Karen

I think one of the very valuable lessons children have to learn is that sadly not everybody is equal. My children had a wonderful childhood and have grown up to be responsible, caring adults and don't feel they missed out at all by not having the latest "must have" and having to live on a very strict and tiny budget. In fact they believe that the difficult circumstances they learned to cope with have made them stronger people and more able to cope in the world than a lot of their friends who are used to having everything provided for them.

My daughter, who has recently graduated from university, made a very good observation when she received her wage packet. She commented on how rich she felt now whereas her friend, who had everything paid for by her parents - car, running costs, clothes, holidays etc - was worried that she wouldn't be able to manage on her salary.

It is lovely to be able to buy things for one's children but hopefully the desire to have the latest everything does not become a necessity.

>It is lovely to be able to buy things for one's children

I sometimes think that the gift has more significance for the giver than it does for the recipient, especially in regards to children.

My little man is happy with whatever Santa brings. I do not make a big song and dance about Xmas and I am not buying into the hype. People are always running around like blue ar*ed flies MONTHs before the actual event and get depressed afterwards because the expectations weren't in par with what happened.

> I sometimes think that the gift has more significance for the giver than it does for the recipient

Oh that was definately the case in my childhood:
I wanted a Pony.... I got a scalectrix (which Dad then 'modified' to go faster and I got 2nd degree burns!)
I wanted a Pony.... I got a train set (which I wasn't allowed to touch in case I broke it..... Dad crashed it into a tunnel)
I wanted a pony.... I got a stunt Kite (again wasn't allowed to hold it in case I let go .... Dad took out 2 cars and a dog walker on Whitely Bay prom whilst 'holding it')
I WANTED a pony .... I got a chemistry kit..... Dad set alight to the curtains(During the electric strikes in the 70's)
I gave up and said I didn't mind ..... Dad made me a Doll's house (It was rubbish!! and Health a safety would have had a fit... it was a death trap..... but I loved it! )

I didn't even have any dolls!! It was just because Dad made it....

HG we must have the same dad!!!! LOL I can relate to all of that!

My kids get £50 each but I go to the bank and get them a £50 note each, that way I know they will save it until they want something they need (or need something they want lol) most shops wont accept £50 notes so they have to put it in their bank....Ingenious or cruel?? lol

I only have the one child coming up ten in a couple of weeks, for her birthday she is having the new nintendo dsi, and about an extra £100.00 worth of presents, then for christmas i have bought her her own laptop,I work full time and feel if its on her wish list then i will try my hardest to buy it for her.  I have bought her up to be a confident polite child.  If i had had more children i wouldn't be afford to do it, but as it is, yes she is spoilt, but still has manners and definetly know's the value of money, as she hates spending her own pocket money lol.

Angela.

I don't remember ever asking for anything really until I was a teenager. My parents weren't at all well off and we were always happy with what we got. My life hasn't been ruined by not having the most up to date things as a child. I have a friend who's daughter is only 8 and she's been 'demanding' certain Christmas and birthday presents for years. As a youngster surely there is no need for her to tell her parents what she wants ?. Her elder daughter, well at 15 I don't think she's ever been told she can't have what she wants and they certainly aren't well off. What these girls will do when they are adult and then suddenly realise they can't have everything I don't know - get into debt I guess.
If we all think back to our childhood I bet there are few of us who remember what we had for presents. I do remember the fun times I had though, as a family - money can't buy that. Having fun and enjoying time with children will stay with them forever.

> definetly know's the value of money, as she hates spending her own pocket money lol.

LOL - I expect that is because she has no need to spend it as everything is bought for her

Daisy

Jax, what a lovely post and so pleased that you got your Barney doggie!! I have always wanted a black Cocker girl since I used to walk one when I was a little girl. I finally got my Daisy 3 weeks ago and she is a dream

Christmas and Birthday's only come round once a year,which is why i spoil my kids to bits on those 2 days out of 365...
I really don't think the word "spoiled" can be used on these 2 occasions Christmas is a fun and magical time which like it or not includes lots of pressies for the kids. In fact if it weren't for my children i wouldn't bother with Christmas at all!
Yes you can spoil kids by buying whatever they ask for whenever you walk in a shop,but i just  can't do the scrooge thing at Christmas.

As for the 'must have' thing this year. A wii fit and digital camera.

> In fact if it weren't for my children i wouldn't bother with Christmas at all!
>

My thoughts aswell . When mine are older i may well go away somewhere fantastic instead .

My Son was thrilled to bits with his iTouch and now his Dad wants one !
Oh , and i can highly recommend Wii Sports Resort .Just make sure you get 2 'motion plus' parts . 

> Christmas and Birthday's only come round once a year,which is why i spoil my kids to bits on those 2 days out of 365...

Yep
We never do too much on birthdays but Christams is the highlight of our year. Our kids get as much as we can afford, depending on our finances (we're both self-employed so finances can be very up & down). There has been a few years where money was tight and we couldn't afford to get much for the kids but they understood and still loved the day, however we do love a big splurge for the 'big day' when we can.

This year our eldest can't decide if he's more excited about the presents or Christmas dinner!! (bless him, he follows his mum for food-loving!)

All that said, I wouldn't get a 'must have' present just because it's the latest craze, it has to be something the boys really want because they want it, not because they are following the herd. This year our eldest wants a mobile 'phone (he thinks a phone that costs more than £70 would be a waste of money!) and the youngest hasn't decided.

For us Christmas is a time for families, being nice to each other (not a cross word or slightes hint of bad attitide is permitted over the Christmas period!), enjoying each others company and making each other happy, that includes spoiling each other

Our living room will be decorated way OTT and will resemble Santas Grotto with the amount of lights over the walls, ceiling & tree The boys, 10 & 11yrs old, still get a Christmas stocking (LOL, sis & I still get a xmas stocking from our dad!), this is left on thier beds and they will scamper in to us at silly-o'clock in the morning to open thier stocking on our bed. They can then play with that while me & OH get the dinner on, then OH will dish out the pressies from under the tree, one at a time and of course that includes pressies for the dog & cat.
The cat couldn't care less about Christmas day as long as she isn't turfed out of the Christmas tree, but the dog loves ripping pressies open
Ohhh I love Christmas and am getting all excited now

> Ohhh I love Christmas and am getting all excited now

Stop-you're making me excited too   I love the way every family has a routine for Crimbo. OUr was always that we had our stockings left in our room which we opened in our Mum&Dads bed (although we werent allowed in until 7.30am so often my sister and i were up for hours before we were allowed to open anything!) We would then go downstairs to be greeted with a sackload of presents which were swifly opened before we had our 'main' present which was often hidden out of sight i.e behind the sofa, in the kitchen cupbard etc!!. Then we got ourselves ready, mum sorted out dinner and the family came round so it was more presents. ON boxing day it was exactly the same but around my nans house. The only bit about Christmas i hated was when you had several sackloads of prezzies as well as presents from friends and stocking fillers and you then had to find room to put them away!!!
In the past few years Christmas has lost its routine - moving out of home, the loss of loved ones, having to make time for partner and his family as well as my own and i feel i need to re establish the christmas routine.

I love Christmas but as I moved away and into my own pub last year everything has changed I have met so many people this year through work and realised that many don't get the same joy from Christmas as we do as they are all alone over the festive period. So I decided I would alter things a little This Christmas I have planned to close the pub and have Christmas lunch in the middle of the bar. There will be 17 of us altogether, my small family consisting entirely of Mum, Dad, 2 little brothers and sister and 11 of my regualr customers who would usually spend Christmas completely alone. Everyone has to bring a gift to exchange so no-one is left out, and lunch will be an interesting affair to say the least I almost cried when I asked everyone if they would like to join us, just the look on peoples faces was enough of a present for me! My parents were a little suprised by the thought as they say, Tis the season to be jolly! Gosh, I sound so soppy I do want presents as well though...lol