(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.  This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!   

(5) Loud Sigh: This isn't actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.   (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.  DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying *&#@ YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

** Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

** Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true

LOL It is all very true!!!

Particularly No3.  When he says 'what wrong' and I answer 'nothing', its time for him to run for the hills because its usually something BIG. You would have thought men would have got the hang of this by now.

Love the 'Thanks' one! definitely sending that on to a certain someone!!!

Brilliant! Thanks tricolours.

When we say "what's wrong" and you say "nothing" shame on us for believing you!!

ROFL!!
Aaaah but the shame should really be in the fact that you can't seem to play us at your own game!
The evidence M'lud:

Scene 1: A rustling from the kitchen.I think "whats that @$&* dog doing now!?" only to find the 'man' of the house standing puce faced with arms behind back...
Me: what have you got there?
Him: Nothing!! (Clutching the last cadburys mini-roll, he knows I was saving for myself!)

Scene 2: We are in Harvey Nicks....and have been for the past (he would say year) I would say 10 minutes. I can't decide the Jimmy choo boots or the Karen Millen coat, I'm waxing lyrical about key winter pieces.... he mutters under his breath...
"&£@* don't care...only $£@* clothes... wish I was down the pub...@£$&*!!"
Me: what did you say???
Him: Nothing!!

Scene 3: We are in the Supermarket, Ive lost him!for the hundreth time in only 10 minutes. (I'm seriously considering buying some of those reins you get for wandering 2 year olds!!) Eventually I find him by the magazines... once again puce faced arms hidden behind his back....
Me: What you got there?
Him: Nothing!!!
And as I turn and walk away and he replaces the 'Nuts' magazine he was drooling over when he thinks Im now no longer looking... I wonder how has he not come to realise  we women have eyes in the back of our heads (for dogs,children and men!!)

So!
I would rather be mistress of the 'amber light' "nothing!"
than
Master of the 'guilty as puppy beside a pile of poo' "nothing!"

I have a problem with remembering the rules!!
Hence 12 blissful years of Bachelorhood, those were the day!