I know someone that regularly has a 'swift half' as he calls it during his lunch hour at work and regularly pops in to the pub for 'just a couple' on his way home from work, he has to drive home.

Friday is the early finish day and he's been heard to comment on how he can't even remember driving home.

I feel he should have some sort of warning before he does damage but don't know how to go about reporting him.
The other problem is that he's a distant family member so I would not want it known that I'd said anything.
Any suggestions?

Tip the Police off anonomously.  If you don't and he kills himself or someone else, you'll regret it! 

>Tip the Police off anonomously.  If you don't and he kills himself or someone else, you'll regret it! 

Agree wholeheartedly.  It's only a matter of time before he causes an accident.

I too agree without a shadow of a doubt.

It's hard for you but..........I agree with the others.
If you cant face up to him and say just what you feel, you must ask yourself how you will feel when it ends in tears as it surely will.
Sometimes in life we are face with situations when we are called upon to be 'the grown up' and do the right thing.

Karen

If I ring the police will I have to give my name etc?

This person lives in a different county to me so should I ring his local police?

Ring Crimestoppers. It's anonymous and national, so you needn't worry.

A great idea JG!  I didn't think of that!

what an awful situation to be in.... i agree with everyone else tho, couldnt live with myself if someone died as a result of their stupidity

Agree with everyone. You have to call the police. He could kill someone.

I agree.  It might just be the wake up call he needs.  Could potentially save a life..

Having for years dealt with drink drivers and the results  I would say that it is normally the innocent party that gets injured/killed it devastates lives. Crime stoppers is the way to go, I would not hesitate, I can't tolerate it, there is no excuse for it.

Good luck with your decision.

> I feel he should have some sort of warning before he does damage but don't know how to go about reporting him.
>

He will have been warned in the past ....but probably thinks "oh it doesn't mean me ...it's only a half ....or I got home safely, didn't I?!"

Shop him - before he kills someone!  Do it via crimestoppers ....

it ok to ring the police but would you live with your conconice, if he well over the top and could end up doing time,
ban for two years or  more, lost his job,house and family.

but on the other hand he could kill someone as well ?

lots to think about before action

>if he well over the top and could end up doing time,
>ban for two years or  more, lost his job,house and family.

I could deal with that - after all, he has broken the law, acted irresponsibly and brought it entirely on himself.  I could never live with myself if I turned a blind eye and some poor innocent ended up maimed or killed.

>but would you live with your conconice

Would you live with your conscience if he killed your child, and you could have prevented it?

If he is under the limit, a breathalyser test will show it.   And he will walk away.   If he isn't, it could save a dreadful accident.

> would you live with your conconice, if he well over the top and could end up doing time,
> ban for two years or  more, lost his job,house and family.

Self inflicted I'm afraid, he cannot say he didn't realise the possible consequences.

totaly agree on what you all have stated.
just but whats and ifs.

agree with the others, my partners friend was killed by a drink driver,he was well known for it and no one reported him,he was in his van when he ran my partners friend over and dragged him to his death,he then got out the van and went in and waited a while before calling a friend to say he went outside to check the van was locked and there are some legs sticking out the bottom,police took hours to free him from the van,by then he was dead and and he suffered and did not deserve it,no one does,the bloke who did it got away with it,he was not over the limit by the time the police tested him and he said that my partners friend  must have already been lying in the road and and he thought he was a bin bag,he said he had the music up full pelt which was why he could not hear the screams or the banging underneath. he was a lovely man and had a 2 year old child,please report this person, even if its just a little over the limit it is still illegal,i do not have any alcohol if i am driving
xx sorry for the doom and gloom

Do you work with him?  I think management or somebody would be best to say something to him, even something like if he doesn't control his drink that he will be sacked?  Does his job entail him driving at all?

You do oh so need to call this in, the damage that he can cause is horrendous should he have an accident, this is someone who has no thought for anyone else out and about.
The accidents i have attended and also my colleagues due to drink drivers is not even worth going through.

You do need his registration of his car, the normal times he would leave work/pub and the route he is likely to go home.. Or even what time he normally arrives home and his home address.
If you or someone you know has more information as it is happening then call that in right away, he needs to be stopped.

I personally can't believe that as it appears from what you've said is that no one had reported him before, colleagues or otherwise.

I've PM'd you

Around 10 years ago, I used to live next door to a chap who used to drink drive as regularly as clockwork.  You could practically set your watch on a Saturday evening as to what time he would go out and return.  In fact, he knocked at our house more than once in a drunken stupor to complain about not being able to fit his car into 'his' space outside his house.  Bearing in mind the gap was more than enough for at least two cars and he was several sheets to the wind, we used to try and explain nicely that the space was big enough, but once he became abusive we told him that perhaps if he didn't drink and drive he'd actually be able to see straight to be able to park!
We phoned the local police, Crimestoppers and even asked a friend who was a special police officer at the time to have a word with her sergeant about the chap on more than several occasions, nothing was ever done. 
We ended up begging and pleading with our local police to try and do something, but nothing ever happened.  We eventually moved from that house, but I hope and pray that the chap never ever did hurt anyone. 
I was stationary at a set of traffic lights one day on my way to work and was hit from behind by a woman driving a car so drunk that she couldn't even see straight to write her own name when I asked for insurance details.  Thankfully at the time I drove an automatic car which was in neutral at the time of impact.  Had I been readying myself for the change to a green light and had the car in gear, I might very well have been shoved forward far enough to hit the two youngsters that had, seconds prior to the impact, crossed the road in front of me.
The driver then tried to attack me when I mentioned the alcohol and that I was going to phone the police.  Thankfully some rather strapping removal men were close by, saw the whole thing and came to my aid.  The police were called she was arrested without the need to be breathalised (due to a certain section of the law whereby breathalising was not necessary due to the high level of her intoxication) and she was taken away.  She was finally charged with drink driving, banned for 6 months and given a £200 fine.  Then and only then did we discover that she was also driving without insurance.

I just cannot understand why anyone would even contemplate getting into a car with even ONE alcoholic drink inside them. 

Report it, give his name and car reg and work hours so they can nab him.

After reading this post this morning, On my facebook page I have just come across this post/story. I apologise if it upsets anyone. But i felt i had to post it on here.

THIS MESSAGE ACTUALLY MAKES U THINK ABOUT WHAT YOUR READIN XX

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny,

are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Will you think again before you drink drive??????

There's lots of similar stories doing the rounds of a similarly schmaltzy nature.  I'm sure somewhere along the line there may have been a grain of truth in these tales but that was amny years ago.

Going back to the original topic.  I would have no hesitation to phone the Police and report this man.

About 2 years ago I phoned the police to report someone who I knew drank every day during and after work and who regularly went to the golf club, got absolutely hammered and still drove home. I gave all the relevant details including that the car was a powerful sports car and was told by an extremely rude officer that I would have to phone at the exact time that the person was drinking as 'they couldn't go round the country just stopping anyone on my say-so'. I hung up the phone feeling like I was the criminal for reporting this and the last I heard this woman was still driving drunk and has had several 'prangs' trying to get in and out of her driveway.

went to a party, Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom...
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you,
you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

These poems - true or not, so make you think.
Maybe they should be put on the back of pub doors for all those tempted to get in their car and drink drive to see ??

I actually think these poems/tales are awful.     Not only are they sickly, imagine if a similar fate had happened to me and I logged on here to find this type of literature, it certainly wouldn't be helping my state of mind.

I agree Christine - this sort of shmaltzy sentimentality is just sick

I find these 'poems' tactless rather than tactful especially when written in Rainbow Bridge.    

Although they make you think, I think they are sick as 99.9% of them never happened although many people believe them.  The worst was when a psychologist sent one around the world pretending to be a dying child.

I have worked with plenty of people and still do who regularly have a couple and drive but chances are if they drink on a daily basis it would take more than a couple to make them over the limit. In fact i have a colleague who was breathalysed after someone went into him and he had had two pints of lager and he wasn't over the limit.

My partner has an electronic breathalyser that he uses on the 'morning after' to make sure he's not driving over the limit and we have used it on many a dinner party just to see how alcohol affects different people and some will go red after one large glass of wine and others can have half a bottle.

Whilst I don't condone his behaviour my conscience wouldn't let me report him if he's only having a couple. Why don't you send him an anonymous letter.

> some will go red after one large glass of wine and others can have half a bottle.
>

I think that shows the safest and sensible option is to consume no alcohol if you may have to drive, why take any chances, to me it is quite clear, have no alcohol at all and do not take any unnecessary risk. Even if not over the limit someone's judgement may be affected and personally I would report anyone I thought was drinking and driving!

> Whilst I don't condone his behaviour my conscience wouldn't let me report him if he's only having a couple. Why don't you send him an anonymous letter.

My conscience would not let me rest if I knew he'd hit some innocent pedestrian.

An anonymous letter would be a waste of time, his attitude when questioned face to face about whether he should be driving is 'they ain't caught me yet.

> my conscience wouldn't let me report him if he's only having a couple

I'm sorry but that is not the brightest thing to be saying Flora. One day a couple of drinks may take someone over the limit and another day they may be fine. Its best to stick to not having a drink at all if you're going to get behind a wheel of a vehicle.

The OP said he's been heard to comment on how he can't even remember driving home., now to me that is more than a couple, and he does need to be caught before someone is seriously injured or killed..

Everyone is entitled to thier opinion. One would imagine if grieveing for a loved one lost in a RTC due to DD they probably wouldnt be looking at champdogs.
I (and my friends and relatives) read it as a precautionary poem.

I know someone who lost a relative through DD, she would tell you that if one message/poem/word of warning gets through to a drink driver then its a job well done

> I know someone who lost a relative through DD, she would tell you that if one message/poem/word of warning gets through to a drink driver then its a job well done

Trouble is, Freds Mum, all the drink-drivers that I have ever known have always said the same thing "I know how much I can drink, and I'm a safe driver"   - which is absolute nonsense - everything shows that responses are dulled when alcohol is involved.   Personally, if I'm driving, I'm the boring person with the glass of sparkling water garnished with lemon & ice !

>One would imagine if grieveing for a loved one lost in a RTC due to DD they probably wouldnt be looking at champdogs.

Alternatively it might be a refuge where they think they can mentally escape from their grief.

In all honesty, how many 'drink drivers' are going to come onto CD to read sentimental twaddle poems?    At this time of the day they'll be in the pub and knowing what alcoholism does to people, they never think they have a problem and they can handle it so you're 'preaching' to those who don't want converted.

One would imagine if grieveing for a loved one lost in a RTC due to DD they probably wouldnt be looking at champdogs.

That is where you are wrong as there are people on here that have lost loved ones to RTC due to DD, one of which is my husband's best friend

An old family friend her parents had visited our family around Xmas time, can't recall if just before or Boxing Day itself. They lived 5 mins away from us and on their way home got taken out by a DD and the woman was killed.

I myself hate driving at night around the Xmas and New Year period as i know the number of DD's goes up and i'm petrified that i'm going to be taken out too, no matter how good a driver you are its the twat with too much alcohol in their system thinking they aren't drunk so get behind of the wheel that you can't control..

I agree with Fred's mum, if you think it is sentimental, sick or whatever then don't read it - no one is forcing you.  Personally I don't pass them on but do read them and find them thought provoking and it prompts a shift in me from thinking 'idiot drink driver' to 'how easily it could be any of us on the receiving end.  Like Freds mum I also view them as precautions.

If you don't like it don't read it.

> If you don't like it don't read it.

I don't read them but even scrolling down the post to read what's after, your eye hits the schmaltz and the use of the word 'mom' so they don't even originate here.  Probably dreamed up by a bored American sitting at their desk on a Friday afternoon.

>Probably dreamed up by a bored American sitting at their desk on a Friday afternoon.

One who's only imagining it anyway. I doubt anyone who's really experienced such a terrible thing would think such mundane tripe actually expressed how they felt about it.

If I lost any of my family to a drunk driver I think I would be angry, really angry, at the waste of a life due to some idiot who thought they could drive home after a couple of pints! These poems are a bit too cheesy to be written by someone who is grieving through the fault of a drink driver. I was an orthopaedic nurse and saw horrific injuries caused by these idiots and just cannot understand why folk even have one drink, never mind 2 or 3, and get behind the wheel. I also think that anyone caught drunk driving twice should be banned for the rest of their lives no matter what, once they go on a rehab course, twice they never drive again!

Unfortunately, if they have a car, even if they are banned, it doesn't stop them thinking they will get away with it. They will still drink and drive

I regularly stopped my ex from drinking by threatening to report him. He knew I would, even though we were married. I did let his workmates know he was drinking too much and they kept an eye on him. To the extent he wasn't allowed to drive the fire engine for a while. Now THAT scared me. The thought of him behind the wheel of a fire engine after a nights drinking.

I still stick by my comments that if it is read by or passed on to one person that reads it and thinks differently then its made a difference and potentially saved a life then its a great thing

> I still stick by my comments that if it is read by or passed on to one person that reads it and thinks differently then its made a difference and potentially saved a life then its a great thing

I'm sorry Fred's bum but if you knew what people with alcoholic problems were like they are in total denial so a made-up poem will just shoot straight over the top of their haed.   I have fought for over 15 years with an alcoholic mother who will argue until she is blue in the face that everything that is wrong with her has nothing to do with alcohol, in fact 'she hasn't drunk for months'.  Yep & whats that pink thing with wings in the sky.................?

I am going to lock this thread now. The OP asked for suggestions as to what to do re her dliemma and plenty of ideas have been posted. The thread is straying into other related areas which may best be served as a new thread.

Diane