Well I've just caught up with this thread and I was gutted at the way Fiona was spoken to. Not everyone has the vast experience that many of you have and that is why we post here to get your highly valued advice not criticism and rudeness

I am always amazed and in awe of the knowledge some of you have and like to think I have the upmost respect for all of you. I was about to post about a couple of problems I am having but I don't think I'll bother now because I have a feeling I'll be wrongly judged. I'll try and sort it out myself and hope the end result is the right one. After all the time I have posted on this board and the amount of help I have received I am sad to think I feel this way.

I hope Fiona has come back as I love hearing about Holly and I often wonder how she manages to juggle so many responsibilties. I'm envious because I'm not sure I could do it.

Oh don't feel like that. It is a two way street, knowing what problems, especially new owners experience, helps breders with the advice they give their puppy buyers. some things would never occur to a breeder, as with their experience the problems don't crop up for them!!

Ask away, and if someone is rude, ignore it!

Fiona, having been through the wrath of the board at one point, I know how upsetting it can be. To listen to some of the stuff people can say to someone looking for advice is enough to make anyone withdraw from the arena, I fully understand how you must feel, but you must ignore the bad stuff and find solace in the people that have shown support for you. They far outway someones ridiculous views on children/dogs.

You have offered me your support in the past and that is what I would like to do now, offer my support. I have a young dog of 9 months and a young daughter of 18 months and I am lucky to say that we have not experienced this to date, so although I can't offer you any practical advice, I can say this; this board or rather the people on it can only offer you advice as they see fit, it is up to each individual to treat any advice given as just that, advice. There is no right and wrong way in the majority of cases, so you have to sort through the stuff that is said to you and decide what you feel is the best answer (or it could be a collection of advice) to go with. So in this case, just put that one message in your 'mental trash bin' and rise above it, you will be the far better person for doing so.

Take care, love Nina, Molly & Otto xx

Admin Note: Importation of Foreign Viruses

Having now caught up with this posting.

fiona you were given a nasty reply poor love. But hope now that you have been given the support you needed by all the replies you have been given.

I too have been badly spoken to on this board when I first joined and it did upset me too. I don't agree that if some one is rude or nasy to you to ignor it, as you can't? But most are very kind on this board and give out some good advise.

I am pleased too that you have come back to the board. I know you have apologised Sam, but boy can you be blunt some times??!! No offence to you Sam.

Julieann

Hi Julieann,

Yes Sam can be blunt, but I can also be over-sensitive, so between the two of us we make a right pair :D

Conversing via message boards is very difficult. It's so hard to get your intentions across properly and if I'd written a proper description of what had happened it would have taken about 600 words, so I cut corners and hoped that people would get what I meant.

Thanks for your thoughts,

Fiona
x x x

I have often read on this board and in books that children should never be left alone with a dog. The trouble is, we don't live in a perfect world. Mothers need to do laundry, make dinner, answer the phone or door, use the toilet, and when they catch their breath, make a cup of tea or coffee and try to drink it while it's still hot! You cannot supervise your children 24/7. This is why I agree that dogs being nasty toward children living in the house is a no go area.

I have to admit, that is one of my major concerns. I know that I shouldn't leave the children alone with the puppy but I do have to leave the room occasionally.

Unless I take the kids with me or shut Holly in her crate, she has to come with me. The problem now is that I have a puppy who insits on licking my legs whilst I'm on the loo :D :D

Holly loves to follow me wherever I go and is so nosy she can't bear to be left in case she misses out on something, but am I making a rod for my own back? Is Holly going to develop separation anxiety???? AAAARGGGHHH - I can't win either way :D :D :D :D

Fiona
x x x

Fiona,

Just caught up with this thread and started reading from the beginning. Was horrified when I reached the notorious post but am so glad its turned out as it has

I too love hearing about Holly and am also in awe of how you juggle a home with three children and a puppy and a husband and cope with your own sorrows and find time to offer support and understanding to others :D. Its people like you that make me come back day after day, I learn a lot and enjoy hearing others tell their stories.

Keep smiling, hope you get through this sad time with your wits intact

Linda

I completely understand what you're going though Fiona. After my experience with Jozi the elkhound I was determined I wouldn't make any mistakes this time. I have learned so much from this site. Unfortunately, too much knowledge isn't always a good thing! When we first brought home Pepper I was a basket case, telling everyone in my house and guests to how to "be" around the dog so she wouldn't pick up bad behaviors or become aggressive. After the 3rd week I finally took a deep breath and relaxed. I know you take raising Holly as seriously as raising your children (again, I can relate). I think more importantly than how the people on the board feel Holly should behave and relate to your family is how you feel she should behave. Pepper wasn't going to be allowed to go upstairs or on the furniture and definately not on the bed! Well all my theorys on what she would be allowed to do have gone out the window and the sky hasn't fallen down yet! She's still a great dog and I'm happy with how she fits in our family. I know Holly is still in the early, very important developemental/socialization stage and you want to mold her into the perfect family dog. If you don't mind her following you around, then let her! Do what feels right, though I'm not sure letting her lick your legs while you're in the loo is a good idea! :D

Hi Fiona,
Glad you're back. Re: licking on the loo... mine have always followed me into the room. I just started them on down/stays at a very young age. I was sitting, so could they. It worked out really well and made it easier when I took them for formal training later on. Never too young to start gentle behavior training :D

good luck, it sounds as if your plate is really full.
toodles

BTW: There's a spot right between the shoulder blades, that if you push with a finger, the dog has to lie down. All I do now is touch it lightly, and they go from a sit to a lie-down.

wouldn't shutting the door be easier??? :D

Why bother shutting the door when I'm the only one in the house????? Of course, when hubby returns, I'll have to get into that habit again :P
:cool:

Julieanne, I feel compelled to point out that I wasnot in any way referring to Fiona's children; just making the point that ANY children should not be allowed to prod a sick puppy/dog. It was in no way aimed at Fiona, as I have explained to her!

Well my dogs follow me everywhere and believe me the smallest room becomes even smaller when you have to share it with 3 dogs !!!!!
They don't suffer any seperation anxiety, no chewing howling or barking while we are out and they are allowed the run of house.
I have 2 teenage girls who were bought up with dogs of various ages and sizes and I do have to agree with Sam on this, kids have to be taught respect for the dogs and vice versa, the girls were told off for being too rough with the dogs or disturbing them when asleep and the dogs were told off for growling at the kids, all survived and loved each other, to the point where the dogs were so protective of the kids we never had to worry if they were out with them.
My present 3 were not bought up with young children but I have a friend who comes to visit with an 18 month old child and I feel so proud of the way they cope, just moving out of the way when things get too much. Ingrid

Sam I can see that now. But you do sometimes get a bit stronge in your replies! But hey at least everything has turned out OK now. For one you scare me to death!! Only kidding. I have got some very helpful advise from this site and also people have been very kind including you over the months when asking for advise with Molly. As Fiona say's it is hard at times to put things down in writting on this board as you can go on forever trying to put it all down as not to confuse the issue??!

Molly follows me around most of the day just to make sure I don't leave her! It's just me and her during the day. Oh and the two cats from hell! Only kidding bluey and tinka. We have our routine and get on with things, when Andy my husband is home routine out of window, in the car going for walk's finding new places to explore! I do class myself as lucky as I don't have kids well one husband if that can class??! so really don't have to worry about it. But when out I have to watch Molly very carefully as she does not like kids at all. (Battersea did advise us) to children she looks all fluffy etc but they only have to go near her and her back is up and teeth showing. On goes the muzel and off we go to somewhere else. At some stage she must have been hurt by children etc as even after just one year of having her she still is very insecrue and can get very frightended bless her. I have no words to say about people that hurt animals for kicks, just wish I could kick them!!

Julieann

Its not always the case that dogs who dislike children have been cruelly treated.......someimes they just never see a child & when they do, they don't understand them so they retalliate. More due to a lack of social skills than being mistreated.

Sam it is the case for Molly.

What we know of her she was very badly abuised and hurt and does not trust anyone and Battersea are sure children were involoved at some point. Molly is great at socalising with other dogs but humans she does not trust and who can blame her? I for one would not forgive and forget that fast either.

Poor lass has been through a terrible start in life. But now she is loved and cared for very much and I would not be without her. Some cases are not as straight forward as you think?

Julieann

Fiona,
Glad that you're staying on here. Sorry to here about Holly not feeling well and the kid/dog situation. You and I have very similar lives as far as kids and pets go. I enjoy reading your posts and can relate so well. I too have had tragedy in my life and feel especially for you during this time. As far as Holly with the kids, when she feels better, make sure you watch closely how she interacts with them. I'm with Mari on the point that agressive behavior towards kids especially CANNOT be tolerated. And this also means teaching the kids to be respectful. I think you have been trying to do that all along. I also think that dogs can handle some poking and prodding as long as it's not done to hurt the dog. I actually make it a point to have my kids touch my puppies everywhere and do some mild poking and prodding and we praise the pups for good behavior. I'm sure someone on here will probably be so upset at that, but it works for me and mine. Also, my kids snuggle with pups on the couch, wake them from time to time with no ill results. Although, they aren't really startled out of sleep, just kissed and petted. Seeing that you have 3 kids in the house, your pup should be pretty socialized already. If you notice her acting more agressive toward the kids,(after she is better), you had better let her know whose boss. I would like to write more, but alas the kids need my help. I probably left something important out, didn't explain something clearly, sorry.